No June Cleaver
by LanieSullivan
Summary: Series of one-shots outlining different events in Amanda King's life. I will not be providing a specific time frame as I will be bouncing back and forth in time and each chapter will be unrelated to the others. It doesn't fit in any one category. I am trying again with this story, HOWEVER, if I see people revealing my time lines in a public forum again, it will be gone for good.
1. I Haven't Got Time For the Pain

Disclaimer: "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. The Plot is mine, the characters are not. This story is meant for enjoyment purposes only. No infringement is intended.

Sitting on the edge of her bed staring at a family photo, Amanda heaved a deep sigh as she gazed upon the face of her two smiling boys in it alongside her own. She placed it back on her dresser with other family photos and let out a derisive snort at that thought. _Too many "family" photos were just like that,_ she mused as she shifted her gaze from one to another and yet another. The majority of them were just her and the boys or her mother and the boys...not your _Leave it to Beaver_ family, but then again she wasn't exactly June Cleaver either.

She couldn't help laughing out loud at that thought despite her melancholy. She knew that people had that image of her in their minds since she was so sweet and polite to everyone, but that was just good manners. If they only knew what went on behind closed doors...the things that she really did. She thought of last night in her husband's arms right here in this very room and the memory alone flooded her with warmth as she thought of how he'd touched her, teased her, made her come alive and how she'd screamed his name repeatedly and begged him to never stop fu- Amanda shook her head, shaking off the memory. She could be damn sure that June Cleaver never did _that._ The mere idea of it made her laugh even harder since Ward and June Cleaver had twin beds. How they managed to have two sons, she'd never know.

"Two sons," she said aloud her mood crashing again as she thought of what had brought her up here in the first place...cleaning out the closet to occupy herself until the boys came home and she could have the serious talk with them she knew she needed to. She hadn't gotten very far. Her goal had been to get the closet ready for the big move that would soon be taking place, but she found herself continually becoming sidetracked by memories, the most recent of which being him sneaking out in the early morning hours before anyone knew he'd ever been here. After all, the neighbors might talk and what would have happened if Mother happened to bring the boys home early? It certainly wouldn't be the first time that had happened.

She glanced over to the bed where she'd begun piling things from the closet. She'd begun it mainly to weed out things that wouldn't be of use anymore with the upcoming life changes. She glanced at the dresses she'd pulled out, the long evening gowns that she'd worn to parties they'd attended together as part of his job, her being mostly the "window dressing," of course in the early days. That had changed though. She wondered what to do with these. She'd never wear them again, they were all similar in style, spaghetti strapped, plunging neckline... "Nope. Mm-mm," She said with a firm shake of her head as she picked up the nearest one. She had made this one herself and loved it because HE loved it.

Shaking her head again, she dropped the dress as if she'd been scalded by it. It would never be worn again...not after the shot through the heart that had nearly killed her. If it hadn't been for knowing that her children needed her, she just might have let it kill her. The pain...it was just too much and there was no doubt that it had left a deep scar that would never fully heal. She took that dress and all the others like, wadded them up into one big ball and shoved them into a packing box to take out to the garage later...maybe she'd even organize a garage sale if she had enough stuff to get rid of.

That task done, she turned back to the closet and a stabbing pain shot through her chest as it hit her how few things of her husband's were there. It wasn't supposed to be like that. She glanced at the clock on what should be his nightstand, but when he was only a part-time visitor in what should be a home they shared, could it really be called his? The boys would be home in a few minutes so this project would wait. She found that she didn't have the heart for it right now anyway.

Her mother already knew what was going on. She'd had a long talk with her and while she'd been upset by it, she understood and she stately quite bluntly, as was her way, that it hadn't surprised her in the least as she'd seen it coming. There were, of course, some questions, some tears, a bit of squabbling and some laughter as they got off-topic and reminisced.

She walked back to the dresser again and opened her jewelry box to extract the wedding set from within it and slipped both rings on her finger. "No," she stated adamantly. "Not like this." She then yanked them off again and stared at the pair of rings for a moment as she really thought about what they were supposed to mean, the vows they taken the day they'd said "I do." and how they'd almost immediately broken them by lying to themselves, to everyone around them and to each other about what they each wanted out of their marriage. They both knew now though and had agreed that it was time to make a change.

"On or off?" She questioned. Glancing in the mirror, she couldn't help thinking how naked her hand looked without the rings, how naked she _felt_ without them. She'd taken them off this morning after he'd left due to their situation, but she couldn't help wonder if she shouldn't put them back on again to make it easier on the boys. "Off," she answered decisively and dropped them back into the jewelry box just as she heard the slamming of the front door.

She hurried down the stairs to meet her children and her mother who was just saying, "I am never getting in the car when it's Mr. Gillespie's turn to drive the carpool," while Phillip and Jamie made engine-revving and tire-squealing sounds.

Amanda chuckled softly and said, "I know what you mean." She then turned her attention to her boys, placed a hand on the shoulder of each one to stop and make a brake-screeching sound to get their attention. When they both looked up at her, she motioned to the sofa while Dotty gesture to the kitchen and Amanda nodded in confirmation.

Obediently, Phillip and Jamie sat down and Amanda, sat on the edge of the coffee table to face them and took a deep breath to steel herself for the difficult conversation to come. "Fellas, I have something that I have to tell you...something that I should have told you a long time ago...but it was really just-"

Phillip cut her off by standing up and staring down at her. "You and Dad are getting divorced, aren't you?"


	2. You're So Vain

Amanda made one more quick double-check on her sleeping boys in their room of the lavish hotel suite and softly closed the door, then tiptoed past her dozing mother on the sofa of the main room as she slipped out into the hallway. She took a deep breath. This vacation had not turned out the way she had intended for it to be. It was supposed to be a relaxing time away from the city to enjoy themselves, to let the children spend some time on the beach and in the evenings, her mother had agreed to look after them so that she and her husband could have some much needed one-on-one time. Dotty was the only one who knew just _how_ much they needed it; knew all the secrets that no one else did about their happy marriage.

As she rode the elevator down to the lobby to the ground floor and stepped out into the cool night air, she thought what a crock that was. She and her husband didn't have anything close to something resembling a normal marriage. If they did, she wouldn't be slipping out of a hotel in the middle of the night and down to the beach for a midnight stroll alone. She toed off her sandals and walked to the water's edge, letting the gentle ocean waves lap over her feet as they wafted in and back out again resembling her own tortured thoughts of her marriage.

How different things were than they were supposed to be, she couldn't help thinking. She wanted so many things with him, things that they just couldn't have because of the job...the dammed job of saving the world. It was worthwhile, she knew and worth doing and it did give her a great sense of pride to be a part of something larger, but it also filled her with a great sense of sadness at the things she sacrificed to make it happen. Her reverie was broken by a pair of arms encircling her waist from behind and whispering her name huskily in her ear, a shiver a desire shooting through her at the sound.

Wordlessly, she turned and let herself be enveloped by a strong pair of arms as his lips descended on hers and she couldn't help responding by linking her arms behind his neck and pulling him deeper as her emotions dueled within her. On one hand, she knew that she should be upstairs with her children, but on the other- That thought was lost when his hand grasped her bottom and she felt the evidence of his growing desire for her. It had been so long and she had such a powerful need...

They broke apart breathlessly and he grinned at her, his hazel eyes twinkling in the moonlight as he teased, "Hey, Baby, what's happening?"

She couldn't help laughing and slapped playfully at his chest. "Isn't that line getting a bit stale by now?"

He shrugged and admitted, "Probably. But it is better than the obvious of 'Hey, why don't we go up to my room?" He looked at her hopefully.

"You're awfully sure of yourself, aren't you?"

"In my line of work, I have to be," he fired back.

"You always were cocky," she countered.

"I still am," he answered as he ground his hips against hers, his double meaning all too clear.

Amanda licked her lips nervously and without another thought nodded, slipped her feet back into her shoes, took his hand and followed him back to his room. Within seconds of closing the door, she was in his arms again and his hands seemed to be everywhere at once and she recalled the last time that he'd touched her like this and it was as if no time had passed at all, he knew her body so well, knew what touches excited her, knew just how much pressure to exert with his lips on the tender pulse point on her neck.

She gasped as his hands slipped beneath the skirt of her sundress and lifted her up to straddle him, pressing her against the door. He then used one hand to tug at one strap to lower it from her shoulder and bare her breast taking one hardened nipple into his mouth causing her to cry out as it had been so long. She clung to him and gave into the sensation for a long while letting her desire and the ache within her carry her away until she felt him tugging at her panties and her the rasp of her zipper, then it hit home for her what she was doing and she pushed firmly on his chest, freed herself from him, scrambled away and cried, "No!"

"Amanda," he protested as he watched her straighten her clothing.

"No, I-I-I can't," she stammered. "I have to get back to the boys."

He reached for her, pressing her back into the door again, making it painfully obvious just how much her wanted her. "You can't tell me you don't want this."

She let out a tiny gasp at the feeling of his erection pressed against her and squeaked, "Yes. Yes, I do, but I still...I still can't. I have to go." She shoved hard on his chest, wrenched the door open and scurried out into the hall before he could change her mind breathing a deep sigh of relief as she made her way back to the elevator. Once inside the car of the elevator, she checked her reflection in its mirrored walls and was astonished to see just how...normal she looked. She shook her head. _What do you expect,_ she chided herself. _People who were good at keeping secrets were good at doing so because they looked like everyone else._

When the elevator arrived on her floor she quickly made her way back into her suite to find her mother still dozing. Deciding to leave her there, sure that she'd see through her facade, she made her way past her as quietly as she could and into her own room where she was soon surprised by being swept off her feet and carried to the double bed in the room, her husband's arms around her. "I made it, after all," Joe King crowed with a triumphant grin as he deposited her on the bed and lay down beside her.

"I'm so glad," she replied and found herself glad for much more than that as she thought of Jim Saarinen alone in his room.

SMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMK

A/N: Surprised by the ending? Let's keep it that way for other readers please so that they can get the same suspenseful enjoyment out of this chapter, thank you. Just to be VERY clear, that includes, no hints on the time frame of this fic as there is a reason that I am not including any particular time frame for each chapter.


	3. Coming Around Again

**Coming Around Again**

Amanda was wandering around her house aimlessly with the feather duster, mindlessly dusting here and there, but not really paying attention to what she was doing. Her plan for this week with the boys in summer camp and her mother off visiting Aunt Minnie in Maine had been simple, catch up on some much needed housework without anyone to get in her way, but as they said, the best-laid plans... All that had happened is that every time she began on a project, her mind would begin to wander, not to where you'd expect; to what her children were doing at camp, if they were having fun or even missing them as you would think a devoted mother such as herself should. Nope...today her thoughts were totally on Lee Stetson and his mission in Europe...his _zero contact_ mission. Oh, the fight they'd had about it just before he'd left too when she'd asked him where he was going and why she couldn't know since she was his partner. That had started a whole new argument about whether they WERE partners. That was plaguing her mind more than worrying about her boys.

No, she was definitely not the June Cleaver-type mother who worried every second that her precious babies were not in her presence. That she loved her children with all her heart was not in question, but she knew that the camp they were at took good care of them and that they would return to her safely just as they had every year before. She knew there were good people there to ensure that. What worried her more was that Lee would return safely to her, which of course was silly because he'd made it clear that for all their work "dates" they were _not involved_. So, why couldn't she stop thinking about him? Those beautiful expressive eyes? The dimpled boyish smile that made her melt? The way he'd kissed her when they'd been undercover. Just the thought of it made her shiver a bit.

She was pulled abruptly from her reverie by the ringing of the doorbell. "Huh, I wonder who that could be," she mused aloud as she dropped the duster onto the coffee table, hurried across the staircase landing and to the front door and her eyes widened in shock when she saw who was on the other side of it. "Wh-wh-" Shaking her head and regaining her composure, she stated, "Well, you're about the last person I expected to be standing on my front steps," as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly. "Can I at least come in?"

She sighed an ushered him in, closing the door behind him. "You know, a phone call to let me know you were coming might have been nice, especially since the last I knew you were going to be out of the country for another month."

"Again, sorry, but I...uh...I just got off the plane and I-I wanted to see you. The last time was talked, we didn't exactly part on the best of terms and I felt- Look, I haven't even been to the office to check in yet if it tells you how important it was that I talk to you again... _ **see**_ you again."

"Well, you've seen me. Is that all?" She wasn't quite ready to cave in just yet.

"Amanda, come on. You know that I didn't mean the things I said. You know me better than that."

"Do I? Hmmm...I'm not so sure I do."

He reached for her hands holding both of them in his. "Look, all I know is that all I could think about is that last fight we had. Can't we at least talk about it?"

"Where was your desire to talk about things before," she asked in a softer tone. She had to admit that he was getting to her a bit. "We were supposed to be partners and you..."

"Amanda, I miss you..."

She pulled away and turned her back on him trying not to let her feelings get the better of her. "Don't."

Coming up behind her, he placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. "What is it really? You're not still seeing that weatherman, are you? That Dave?

"Dean and no...I broke up with him months ago, not that that's any of your business."

The fiery, challenging look in her eyes that he knew all too well became too much for him just then and without another word, he pulled her to him and captured her mouth with his own in a fierce kiss. He cupped her bottom in his hands just as hers snaked around his neck and pulled him in deeper, giving in as she opened her mouth under his and sighed at the contact. He took this as all the invitation he needed as he reached for the hem of her pink Georgetown sweatshirt, tugging on it, and breaking their kiss long enough to pant, "Did I ever tell you how adorable you look in these?" as he yanked it over her head along with the tee she wore under it.

"Shh..." She placed a finger to his lips as she began to work loose the buttons on his shirt and once completed with her task pushed the shirt from his shoulders then ran her hands up his chest. "Don't talk...just touch me."

He complied with her request, skimming his hands down to the waistband of her jeans as he knelt in front of her to undo them, then yanked them down her long slender legs as she toed off her sneakers to allow him to pull them all the way off. He then ran long languorous kisses up the inside of each thigh, then place a tender kiss to each hip, ran his fingers lightly along her flat stomach where just the faintest hint of where she'd carried the boys remained. He paused there as if marveling for just a moment that she'd carried two lives inside her before parted her thighs slightly and lowered his mouth to her center.

Amanda gasped at the intimate touch, clasping his head to her as he began to increase the pace and cried out when he slipped one finger inside her and began to stroke her, the dual sensations driving her closer to the edge more quickly than she'd imagined. It had been so long since she'd been touched in that way. 'YES!" she cried and closed her eyes as she felt her knees begin to buckle but before she could fall, she felt herself being lowered to the carpeted steps between the foyer and the den.

Her eyes fluttered open to find him above her unzipping his pants and moving toward her, but he hesitated for just a moment before proceeding. "Are you sure?" He asked.

"Please," she begged him. "Just this once. I'm not looking for forever."

He nodded and moved toward her, dropping his pants as he lay atop her. He took one of her hands in his and used the other to guide himself into her both letting out soft moans as the connection was made between them. She hooked one leg behind him and used it to pull him in deeper.

"Don't stop there," she pleaded as she lowered her free hand to grip his rear.

"Amanda," he groaned as withdrew from her and pushed into her again harder and again.

"Yes," she hissed. "Yes!' She clung to him tightly urging him to keep up the fast pace as they moved together pushing each other over the edge until they were both lying spent and breathing heavily in the aftermath.

"Ohhh," he let out a groan and he rolled off of her and away from her as much as he could in the tight space while he tried to think straight again. "You know..." He gasped through shallow breaths. "this...this isn't what I...I had in mind when I...I came here..."

Amanda couldn't help giggling at his choice of words. "Well, this isn't the first time you "came" here," she quipped. "...right in this very spot."

"The night Jamie was conceived," Joe King shook his head and laughed with her. "But seriously, we do need to have a talk about how we're going to handle my time with the boys when I'm in the US."

A/N: This one comes from an unfilmed scene in TWWH home in which Amanda tells Prescott that Joe had been back to the states once in the past 2 years meaning that at some point since meeting Lee, he would have returned, but since Lee had never met him, I thought the perfect time frame for that to have happened would be the summer of '84 when Lee was in Europe without Amanda.


	4. The Right Thing to Do

**The Right Thing to Do**

Amanda stood in front of the mirror examining herself and nervously took a deep breath. Tonight was going to be a big night and she wasn't sure she was ready for it on all levels. She pulled the sheer robe over the satin and lace chemise she wore, hoping against hope that her husband would like this newest addition to her lingerie collection. She was sure he would, but that wasn't what was worrying her. It was how different things were going to be now since her trip to the doctor today. She smiled slightly at the news she'd received. A shiver of anticipation coursed through her at the thought of giving him the news, but just the slightest sliver of fear. Could he handle it? The difference it made in her appearance? She'd already noticed the change. Had he? Would he still desire her? It wasn't as if they were still twenty-two-year-olds.

"Stop it, Amanda," she scolded herself with a shake of her head as she exited the bathroom and made her way through the bedroom, deciding she'd better check on the dinner she'd been preparing. As she entered the kitchen and caught sight of her reflection in the shiny surface of the toaster, she couldn't help laughing. The sexy nightie and the heels with the fuzzy toes were meant for only one thing and she couldn't help being reminded of those old black and white sitcoms with the housewives all dolled up in heels and pearls while they prepared dinner. "I'll bet June Cleaver never checked on dinner in a negligee," she said with a laugh.

She opened the over door just a crack to peek in on her dinner only long enough to make sure that the roast wasn't getting dried out before closing it again and setting the oven to warm. She then reached into the cabinets for dinnerware and began bustling back and forth between the kitchen and dining room, setting the table for a romantic dinner for two. Tonight she had the night off from her motherly duties thanks to her own mother who understood the situation and was only too happy to volunteer her services, even hinting that maybe...just maybe, she might get the granddaughter she'd been wanting.

Amanda had flushed slightly at that, of course, with a demure, "I don't know what you're talking about," and explained that she simply wanted to spend an evening alone with the man she loved. As she reflected on that conversation, she found her eyes drifting through the doorway to the entry table where she knew her husband would drop his keys and where she'd purposely laid the report from the doctor so he'd see it as soon as he walked in.

She shook her head again and turned back to the task at hand, returning to the kitchen for a pair of champagne flutes and the bottle of champagne she'd had chilling all afternoon. She knew she shouldn't drink much of it, but this was a definite night for celebrating. As she poured, she heard a familiar voice calling her name.

"Dining room," she called back as she returned to the dining room with the filled glasses just in time to see him perusing the paperwork she'd left for him.

"Amanda," the tone in her husband's voice had changed from one of inquiry to one of amazement and then when he stepped into the room, to one of reverence. "Amanda." He gazed at her appreciatively, his eyes shining with love for her. He held out the papers in her direction. "Does this...uh...does this mean what I think it does?" He asked with a hopeful smile on his face.

Beaming, she took the papers from him, set them aside on the table, slid her hands up his chest, then linked them behind his head and replied, "Yes, Sweetheart, it does. I even made us a nice dinner to celebrate." She tugged on the back of his head to urge him to her, but he was already meeting her halfway and their mouths met in a fiery duel of lips and tongues, her arms tightening around his neck as his moved to encircle her waist and pull her closer to him, his desire for her quickly mounting.

Needing air, he pulled his mouth from hers, but didn't loosen his grip, simply lowered his lips to nuzzle her neck and Amanda whispered hoarsely in his ear, "bedroom...now."

"What about your dinner," he teased, his eyes dancing in amusement as he pressed against her, the evidence of his arousal making her own eyes darken with her own desire.

"It'll keep. Dessert first," she stated determinedly as she lowered her hands to grasp his bottom and ground against him, grinning wickedly at the groan he emitted at the maneuver.

They made their way to their bedroom together, her stripping him of his suit jacket, tie and shirt and he of her robe and the matching negligee as they shared kisses and teasing touches along the way. He kicked off his shoes and stripped off his socks before taking her fully into his arms again and they began anew, teasing, touching, stroking. It had been weeks since they'd been able to be this close to one another and they both felt the urgency of their mutual need. He let out a loud groan when his wife and loosened his pants, worked her hand inside to caress him boldly, then dropped to her knees to take him into her mouth.

"Amanda," he growled at her touch, but he knew he needed to stop her because it felt just too good and he couldn't let it end like that. Not when it had been so long and she'd gone to all the effort that she had to prepare this surprise for him. And what a surprise it was.

He pulled her to her feet. divested himself of his pants and underwear, laid her on her back on the bed, her legs dangling over the side of it. This time it was his turn to drop to his knees as his slid his hands up her thighs and slipped the lacy thong she wore down her long legs before settling himself between them, dipping his head down to taste her.

Amanda gasped at the contact of her husband's mouth on her most intimate region, her fears that things would be different between them now gone as he licked and suckled her, worshipping her with his lips and tongue until she was crying out his name repeatedly as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her. Her body was still trembling from her release when she felt him hovering over her. "I love you," she whispered as she reached up to caress his face.

"I love you," he replied in kind as he lowered himself to her and eased inside her, both sighing at the renewed contact never breaking eye contact with one another.

Amanda smiled warmly at him as she ran her hands along the smooth muscles of his back as he achingly slowly pulled out of her only to push back in just as slowly. "Please," she urged as she lowered her hands to her rear to pull him in deeper.

"I don't wanna hurt you," he protested weakly, but he couldn't deny that the look in her eyes, the way she was now wrapping herself around him was making it hard to hang onto his resolve to take it easy.

"You won't," she assured him as she squeezed her thighs against his and pushed up with her hips to encourage him. "Please." The answering look in his eyes told her all that she needed to know; that nothing had changed between them, after all and that she could still bring out the most primal need in him. She gave him a gloating grin as she felt him retreat from her once more and return with more force. "Yes!" She locked her legs around him and spurred him on needing to know that in spite of everything, he still wanted her and she could still drive him over the edge. She was soon rewarded for her efforts as another powerful climax hit her and seconds later, she felt him erupting within her as he cried out her name and clung tightly to her, saying right into her ear how much he loved her, how much he'd missed her and how much he wanted her.

Cradling him to her as he gasped and sputtered, she smiled smugly as she heard him whisper through his ragged breathing. "I love you, Mrs. Stetson."

"I love you, too," she replied as she brushed the sweat-dampened hair from Lee's face. She then laughed a little and teased, "Though I'm a bit in love with Dr. Kelford too, for giving me the okay to return to all my normal activities."

Lee couldn't help laughing with her. "Well, I'm a bit in love with him for that one, too."

SMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMK

Author's Note: In reading some of the reviews I've received and some of the feedback in the Facebook fanfiction group, it seems that there are a few of my readers under the mistaken impression that these chapters are in chronological order. They are not.

I have purposely not been including the time frames as each of these one-shot chapters can stand by itself and has a surprise twist and i would like to credit my readers with enough intelligence to figure out the time frames on their own by the surprise endings. Sadly, this seems to have only caused confusion.

To make it easier for you, the chapters to date, time lines and locations are as follows:

Chapter 1-Haven't Got Time for the Pain-1981-Arlington-beginning of Joe and Amanda's divorce

Chapter 2-You're So Vain-1976-Hilton Head, NC-meant to explain a bit about the mysterious Jim Saarinen and what Amanda was doing with him while still married to Joe.

Chapter 3-Coming Around Again-Summer 1984 between seasons 2-3-Joe returning from abroad briefly per the unfilmed scene from The Wrong Way Home as mentioned in the A/N in the prior chapter.

One additional note: I would still like to ask all my readers not to disclose the surprise endings or time frames of any of these chapters in public reviews or comments.

Thank you.


	5. Anticipation

**Anticipation**

Amanda sat on the porch railing of the faux-rustic cabin, morning coffee in hand, fighting off the chill of the cool fall air as she watched the sunrise. That chill, however, was preferable to the coolness inside the cabin. She shuddered a bit as she reflected on the events of the night before. It was a shudder that had nothing to do with the temperature outside and everything to do with the lukewarm temperature of her encounter with the man still soundly asleep in the bed they'd shared, the first time they'd done so.

She couldn't quite wrap her head around it. He loved her. He'd told her so and she had no reason to doubt him. After all, he was a good man. They'd been planning to take this vacation together for a while. He'd even double-checked with her that the plans that were made were okay with her. He'd seemed so nervous about it, telling her that he wanted to make sure that she had a good time and giving her different options for their destination to ensure it.

Maybe that was it. Maybe he had just been nervous last night, though she couldn't fathom why he would be. The mood had been set just right, a nice leisurely dinner together, a little wine, not too much because they'd both agreed that they didn't want to be roaring drunk the first time they made love. Then they'd danced together to soft, romantic music in front of the fireplace in the living room before dancing have given way to kissing and kissing to touching. They'd spent some time just holding one another on the thick rug in front of the fire and exploring, now that they knew by mutual agreement that there were no longer any boundaries between them.

With the stress of their everyday lives, her mother, the boys, the job, not to mention the way they'd been skirting the issue, this trip had been long anticipated. That was aside from the fact that his recent marriage proposal had irrevocably changed things between them. This was supposed to be the next logical step in their relationship. It was a step they'd talked about, trying to decide if they were both ready for it and they'd come to the conclusion that they were. So, what had gone wrong?

She shook her head and took another sip of her coffee and grimaced as she realized it had started to get cold on her. "Figures," she muttered. _Just as cold as he was,_ she thought as she made her way back inside the cabin and meandered into the kitchen for a warm-up of not only her coffee, but her chilled body. Still, she pondered the events of the night before. What was it? In all the long talks they'd had since they began seeing each other, she knew that he was experienced. At their age, who wasn't? As a mother of two and veteran of a ten-year marriage, it was for sure that she was experienced.

"Maybe that's the problem," she mused aloud as she sipped at the warmer coffee, wishing it could warm the coolness in her heart over the man who wanted to be her second husband. Maybe it was because of her ten-year marriage that things hadn't gone the way that she'd expected. After all, Joe had had ten years to learn all the ins and outs of what she liked and didn't like in bed. He knew just how and where to touch her, but he hadn't at first, not when they were barely in their twenties. She'd had to show him. They'd had to learn how to please each other together. But that was over now, of course, and it was time to move on.

 _Maybe that's where the problem is. Maybe it's me,_ she surmised. Was that the issue? Had she spent so many years with Joe that she hadn't taken enough care to learn what her new lover liked? After all, they _were_ very different men. It had been so long since anyone had touched her that way. She and Joe had been divorced for a while now, add in a year for their divorce to be finalized and they had been separated by his job for two straight years prior to that. She began mentally calculating and was astonished by the number of years she added up since she'd been intimate with anyone. That was one of the things that Joe hadn't quite understood. While they'd never had problems of THAT nature, he still had failed to realize that she was more than June Cleaver, more than just a housewife and mother. She had needs of her own.

"That's it," she nodded with a smile. It had to be. It would just take time as it had with Joe and if they were going to get married, they had all the time in the world. She just needed to be patient with him, to give him time to learn what she needed and to take some time herself to learn what he needed.

"What's it," a male voice said from behind her as she felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around her waist.

"Oh, just...coffee," she replied as she indicated her cup and turned in his arms to face him. "Good coffee." Should she tell him that he hadn't completely satisfied her needs last night? As he began to nuzzle her neck, sending tiny shivers up her spine, she decided against it. That would definitely guarantee that the rest of their vacation would go badly. Men had such fragile egos. She should just give him a second chance, maybe give herself a second chance in the process to get to know him in that way just a bit better.

"You're cold," he commented.

"What?" she questioned, a bit startled. Had he sensed her thoughts? OR had he figured out that she'd been bored to tears last night to the point that she'd faked it just to get it over with? She couldn't help wondering if the prior women he'd slept with had done the same. Was that the real reason that he'd had so many girlfriends, yet seemed to be perpetually single? As her mother kept reminding her, he had a good job, was good-looking, was charming, in short, he was a catch, which begged the question, why hadn't anyone caught him yet?

"I mean your skin's cold," he explained.

"Oh, I...um...I was just outside. You know, getting a breath of fresh air, watching the sunrise. You know I've always loved watching the sunrise over the mountains. It's such a beautiful sight and this is such a beautiful place." _Good one, Amanda,_ she patted herself on the back. _Compliment the place he took you to and maybe you can avoid commenting on his prowess...or lack thereof...in the bedroom._ "I mean, have you ever just sat there and watched it? I know, living in the city, it's just not the same, but it's-" She caught the amused expression on his face at her babbling and shut up.

"It's a bit chilly out there this early in the morning," he scolded her in a light, teasing tone. "But I know just the thing to warm you up." He took the coffee cup from her hands. "Come on. It's barely light out. Let's go back to bed."

"Yeah," she agreed. She'd decided to give him a second chance and besides, how could she resist that charming, almost bashful smile?

An hour later, she hunkered down in the blankets, still fighting off the chill as he lay beside her. "So, have you given it anymore thought?" he asked her in a satisfied, sleepy tone.

"Have I given what anymore thought?" she replied obtusely. _Oh, no, here it comes,_ she thought miserably.

"Amanda..." He gave her an exasperated look. "Our future," he reminded her impatiently.

 _Damn!_ She smiled at him sweetly. "You know that I'm very fond of you, but I think I need a little more time. After all, I haven't quite been divorced a year yet." When he looked a bit hurt, she quickly added, "It's not a no. It's just...I just...I need more time." She blanched at the fallen expression on his face. She really didn't want to hurt him. _Think, Amanda, think._ "And the boys need more time," she added quickly. "I mean, they haven't known you that long and their dad's not around much so having another man around...you know, it's bound to be confusing for them."

"Whatever you need, Honey." He nodded in understanding.

"Thank you for understanding. As for what I need..." Did she really have time to tell him what she needed. After all, this was only a weekend trip. She shook her head and faked a big yawn. She had a feeling that if she did marry him, she'd get really good at faking a lot of things. "Right now I need to get some sleep. We were up pretty late last night." Without giving him a chance to respond, she turned to face the window

"Yeah, me too," he responded as he wrapped an arm around her and snuggled up next to her. "Sleep tight, Amanda."

"You too, Dean," she replied as she thought, _Nope, it's not me._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AN: Thanks to those who have been reading this story. Sorry for the long delay in adding to it. I would like to ask, as always, since I have purposely not put a time stamp on these chapters, to please not give it away in reviews or public comments. Thank you.


	6. The Way I've Always Heard It Should Be

**That's the Way I've Always Heard It Should Be**

Amanda sat in the doctor's office gaping in stunned silence, unable to believe her ears. She knew something had been not right with her lately, but she never suspected this. She looked down at her hands and began nervously picking at her cuticles.

"Amanda, did you hear what I said?" the doctor asked her in alarm.

Amanda nodded numbly then finally looked up at the woman across the desk from her and sputtered, "Are...are you s-s-sure? I mean, maybe there's been some mistake. M-m-maybe my lab results got mixed up with someone else's." She looked at the doctor hopefully. After all, she was not one of _those_ women. She shuddered slightly as she thought of some of the woman of her generation and of how free they were with sexual expression, especially a certain blonde...well, she couldn't really call her a friend, but they weren't exactly enemies either. She wasn't a prude by any means, but sleeping around just wasn't _her_. She needed to feel something for a guy before taking the plunge. She'd learned her lesson on that the hard way when she was younger.

"Yes, Amanda, I'm quite sure. There's no mistake. You're pregnant."

"I...Um...thank you," She nodded and moved to rise from her seat.

"Wait," The doctor rose from her own seat, stopping Amanda.

She turned back toward the doctor and replied in a calmer tone than she felt, "Was there something else?"

"Well, yes, Amanda. You're going to need proper medical care for you and your baby. If you'll give me a moment, I'll get you a referral for a good obstetrician."

"That...um...that won't be necessary. You see, I'm not from around here, I...Um...I'm from Arlington and I'll...I'll be going back there soon. I'll see my own doctor when I get home and ask him for a referral." She knew very well that seeing Dr. Goodman would be the last thing she'd do. Her mother knew him too well and while he usually respected her privacy, she didn't want her mother finding out from him accidentally before she was ready to break the news to herself. She already knew that Dotty West would be terribly disappointed in her when she found out and hearing that news from someone else would only make matters worse. She'd have to find another doctor or at least wait until she'd told her mother before going to Dr. Goodman. Not that her mother wouldn't embrace the baby wholeheartedly and love her new grandchild. Amanda had no doubt that she would, but still she'd expect her to be married first.

The doctor nodded, then after a beat, asked, "You can tell me that it's none of my business, but you seem rather upset by the news and I couldn't help noticing that you're not wearing a wedding ring. You're not thinking of terminating it, are you?"

"NO!' Amanda stated emphatically looking at the doctor in wide-eyed horror. Who would consider such a thing? After all, unplanned or not, this baby was conceived in love. They loved each other very much and were talking about marriage. It was just...too soon for them. Everything was moving too fast. What if she was making another mistake like the one she had in her prior serious relationship? _No,_ she thought. _He loves me and I love him. We'll be fine. I'll just talk to him about it. We'll work it out._

"I'm very sorry," the other woman replied gently. "I didn't mean to offend you, but I just felt that since it's a procedure that can have many side effects and once done, can't be undone, we should talk about it. You just seemed so...so thrown by the news. I want to be sure that you're in the right mental state before making any decisions. I can recommend a good counselor for you to discuss your options with you, if you like."

"Yeah, thrown is a good word," Amanda acknowledged. "It's...it's..." She looked down again took a deep breath and then plunged on, "It's just that my...uh...I mean, the...uh...the baby's father and I we're...we're kind of...not in a good place right now." That was the understatement of the century. She recalled the loud screaming match they'd had just two weekends ago when he'd suggested that she was too dependent on her mother, that he needed a little attention too, to which she'd uncharacteristically replied that at least she had a parent who cared and took the time to show it.

The fight had ended with him storming out and she hadn't spoken to him since. She'd had so much work to do to finish up her classes and she was relishing it. She loved learning new things and she was on the home stretch finally ready to move toward having the real career that she'd wanted for the past four years. "This...this is the last thing we need right now, but... Uh...I...Um...guess we'll make the best of it. Thank you for your concern."

She exited the doctor's office, walked to her borrowed car and began driving back to her temporary home. She still had packing to do before going back to Arlington at the end of the week. Her thoughts were in a whirl, still in disbelief that this was happening. She'd always tried her hardest to be the best person that she could be and now she was nothing more than a statistic, all because of one night of blind, reckless passion after too much champagne and not enough caution. How could this have happened to her?

As she drove, she thought of her statement to the doctor regarding the baby's father. How was she going to tell him? How would he react? Would he be happy? Would he be upset, angry even? What about their marriage plans? This threw a monkey wrench into ALL of that. She didn't know how on earth that would work when they were so very different. He was from a champagne and caviar world and she was a meat and potatoes girl. They were from two different worlds and since they'd begun dating last year, they'd been trying to bridge those differences, find common ground, but it had been difficult, almost so difficult that she wondered if it was worth it. Maybe a big part of it was that as much as they loved each other, they spent so much time apart...just like now; separate assignments to be done were keeping them in separate locations. Until the bombshell that had just been dropped on her, she'd been seriously considering changing the status quo. But now...? Could they be normal? She shook her head. She just didn't know.

Before she knew it, she'd pulled up in front of the building that she'd been staying in, suddenly wishing very much that she were at home with her family and that she could just curl up in her mother's lap and cry out her frustrations as she'd done when she was a little girl. She'd have a lot of explaining to do before that could happen, but even if her mother didn't understand the situation or were disappointed in her, she'd put that all aside if she needed comfort, that's the kind of mother she was. June Cleaver, Dotty West was not; she was far too liberal for that, but was doting and loved her unconditionally. Amanda had always wanted to be a mother just like that.

That thought led her to thinking of the tiny life growing within her. What kind of mother was she going to be to this child that she hadn't planned for, hadn't expected and wasn't entirely sure that she was prepared for or even wanted? She wanted this career path that she worked so hard for so badly and now that was shot, wasn't it? She couldn't be the kind of mother she wanted to be and still have her career. It would be too dangerous for an infant. She thought back to her reaction to the doctor's question about termination and shook her head. No, there was no doubt about it, she'd do her duty to her child and be the best mother that she could be, even if the baby's father wanted no part of it. Her career plans could be put on hold for a while longer until the baby was older. She laid her hand gently on her abdomen and then finally put the car in park, turned the engine off and made her way inside.

Upon entering the building, she tossed the car keys the direction of the woman she'd borrowed them from with a hasty, "thank you' and made her way to the payphone around the corner from the main room, not wanting to be stopped for a conversation by anyone that was milling around. She hurriedly dug into her purse for the appropriate change and dialed the number she knew by heart. She swallowed hard and said, "Hi. It's me..." She listened for a moment, and then replied, "No, I know I haven't called, but to be fair, you haven't either. Look, can't we just forget all that? I'm tired of this 'no contact' business between us. I really need to see you. What are you doing this weekend? My work is all done here and I'll be coming home." At hearing his terse reply, she said, "No, this _can't_ wait!" After listening to him rattle on for another moment, she finally lost her temper and shouted into the phone. "You listen to me, Joe King, we need to talk and we need to do it soon!"


End file.
